The Moment You Realize You're Fat

disclaimer: I am going to use the word fat A LOT. I don't know if others would count me as fat, but I count myself as a little too heavy and fat is an easy word to get my point across.

It's not a good moment.  For the last 4 months, I've been feeling pretty good about myself.  I lost all 50lbs I gained while I was pregnant in the first 7 weeks, I fit back into my pre-pregnancy shirts and jeans one size larger (that was because my hips had spread, right?...right?), and best of all, my feet were skinny enough again to fit into all of my flats...I had good reason to feel good about myself.  Then I saw a picture that my cousin had taken of me and BAM it hit me- I was fat!  Not only did I look fat, I still looked 6 months pregnant.

When a person feels fat, what do they usually do?  Buy more fruits and veggies, cut down on the once a week gallon of ice cream, take a walk around the neighborhood?  What do I do?  Oh, that's right; I pull out my Visa and drop $850 on a new treadmill.  What does that mean?  1.  It means my husband is slightly perturbed with me for spending our tax return before that ink of the check is even dry.  2.  It means I don't have any excuses for not using it.  I don't even have to wear a respectable workout outfit.

I've found in the past my weight loss efforts are inhibited by my all or nothing attitude.  I can't tell you how many times I've walked into the gym, worked out so hard I could barely put enough pressure on the gas pedal to get home, and then never returned.  I'm going to try a slightly different approach this time around.  Here is my plan:

My Workout:  As of right now, I'm just doing a 30 minute fast walk/jog on the treadmill.  I end up going about 1.75 miles.  Once I get in better shape than the average 90 year old, I plan to upgrade my workout to a jog/run.  I may even throw in some hand and ankle weights if I'm feeling really crazy one night.

My Diet:  My boobs are milk factories at the moment and I hope to keep them in the business for the next year or so, which means no diet for me!  I'll probably put in an effort to not eat 660 calories just in tortilla like I did at dinner tonight, but I'm not making any promises.  Right now, I'm obsessed with salad greens with bacon bits, croutons, potato sticks, and light honey mustard dressing.  I guess I'll count that as eating healthier since I didn't touch a salad while I was pregnant.  I do plan to post what I eat each day on here for fun though.  Maybe I will subconsciously eat healthier if I know everyone is going to read about it.

My Goals:  I don't really have a weight goal.  I would be happy if I weighed 136, which is about 9 pounds away.  My real goal is to not look as if I'm with child anymore.  My little guy is totally worth every ounce of fat in my stomach, but I'd rather not have people look at me like I am crazy for having an infant and one on the way.  

So that's my plan. We'll see how it goes. I'm hoping to look somewhat better before my cousin's wedding on March 15. I would really like to wear a dress without my spanx for once.



Here is the picture that made me realize I do not look as good as I once thought (please excuse my hair- I had a cold and hadn't showered):

 

My starting photos- oye! (once again excuse my appearance- my child is not a fan of letting me put on makeup or do my hair)

 

And for good measure, a picture of the cutest baby in the world: